Attempted Pick ups
Only in Senegal:
1. OIS will a fat, middle-aged man chase you down the street frantically in the heat of the day and breathlessly ask you if you have a husband. Or if you know that you're white. Oh my god, really?! I had no idea.
2. OIS will a man of any age try to pick you up while both playing with himself and picking his nose, rolling the boog around his finger and then wiping it on your wall.
3. OIS will that same man, after being rejected, ask you to give him your friend, older/younger sister, mom, 80 year-old grandmother.... just so long as she is white. The phrase "I want a white wife" will haunt my dreams forever.
4. OIS will a man sympathetically offer me the position of wife #2. Because at the old age of 23, here, I am a spinster.
5. OIS is it an ongoing joike that I'm engaged to an infant. But they take it to a whole new, pedophile level when they tell me to bring him into my room at night before bed. Come on guys really? I'm beginning to realize that "creepy" does not, and will not, EVER, translate into Pulaar.
6. OIS is it okay for a man to, after finding out that I have a "husband," tell me what a shame it is. Then proceed to tell me that if I didn't, he'd take me to his mother's house and lock me in a room so I could never escape. I kindly reminded him that I did, in fact, have one. No need for a felony today thanks!
Everyday occurrence
1. OIS will a crazy naked man chase you down the street and throw trash at you in the Garage Nioro.
2. OIS will you ACTUALLY slip on a banana peel. All I could think was "Odoyl Rules!" (See Billy Madison).
3. OIS will you wake up to someone trying to breast feed their baby on you. Sorry ladies, no milk here! On the same note, only here will you wake up to a 5 year old licking your mosquito net and staring through it at you.
4. OIS is it perfectly acceptable to discuss digestive health over dinner. I'll try not to bring that habit back with me.
5. OIS can you find shirts/hats/underwear/etc. that say Obama: President for Space, Obama: Yes we ran (my guess is a typo there) and my personal favorite, don't worry there are pictures to come: "Barack Obama: He touched everyone"
6. OIS will your taxi driver pick up a hooker.... while you're still in the car!
7. OIS is it socially exceptable for men to hold hands, sit on each other's laps and walk with their hands in each others back pockets.... while trying to pick me up. Haha! homophobia be damned!
8. OIS will people point out the fact that i'm sitting, eating lunch, sleeping, or as if I didn't know already, white. And no, correction, I WAS sleeping.
9. OIS will people tell you that you're "partying" no matter what kind of day you're having.
Creeper: Hey! You're partying! You're white, you've got money, you're totally partying"
Me: No, actually not today. My village won't work, I have a parasite, my car broke down
and I'm in a bad mood. So.... no, I'm not partying.
Creeper: Nope, you're partying. You've got money.
Me: My pants are held together with duct tape and safety pins.
Creeper: Laughing...... toubab
Me: Getting angry.....yelling, I'm not a toubab!!!! And, because of parasite, go throw up in a bush. And as I come back, we get in the car thats now fixed. Feeling slightly better and trying to fall asleep.
Creeper: Whispering to his neighbor... That toubab is partying.
Me: AHHHHHH!
10. OIS will you get smacked in the face by a dirty rug while walking through the Kaolack market (courtesy of Laura Coberly) haha! That one was really funny.
Everyday Fibs
1. OIS will I be able to convince people of all ages that I not only know Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, Rambo, Akon and whatever other random celeb they throw at me, but we're close personal friends. I once told a guy that Obama was my dad. You should've seen how wide this guys eyes got.
2. OIS can I convince people that their president cooks me lunch whenever I go to Dakar. Keep in mind, this is a muslim country. Men don't work, at least in my village.
3. OIS do people actually believe me when I say that every white woman, in the world, has a husbad.
I hope you enjoyed the little look into my everyday life, I'll update on actual work crap a little later. Love you guys!
